to do what is easiest

by Charlotte Amelia

it’s easier to drown than to swim
with my lips blue and my breathing shallow
but you pressed down so hard i thought
(through the haze that made me think i was still underwater)
that my ribs would break
and the ocean spilled from my lips
and you leant beside me
telling me you were angry, so angry
because i couldn’t leave you
and through salt water words
i tried to explain
that i hadn’t meant to
it’s just that –
it’s easier to drown than to swim

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